As part of Ohio’s Social and Emotional Learning Standards, Oakwood Schools’ SEL team and staff focus on a different theme each month.  For the month of October, we are focusing on the theme of “Courage.”  For our purposes, we are using the idea that courage is the willingness and ability to work through obstacles despite feeling anxiety, stress, embarrassment, fear or reluctance.

There’s an ongoing debate whether qualities like courage can be increased through lessons or whether they can only be experienced.  I believe the answer is that both going through experiences and also having open dialogue and instruction can build courage.  While I can reflect on personal experiences that have helped shape my own courage, I believe we all have an opportunity to step back, reflect, and talk through lessons to raise our courage meter. Here are three questions to engage with your student during the course of the month:

1. What helps you identify and overcome your fears?  This question is a great way to begin the conversation and affirm that it’s okay to be afraid.  Acknowledging fears is a healthy and a productive activity.  Help your student to identify past fears that were overcome and process what steps or actions took place to conquer or overcome them.  Helping them to identify what has worked for them in the past may help in future settings.

2. What motivates you to push through fears and doubts?  My guess is there is an invisible barrier in all of us that determines whether we will stand up against someone or something.  At times, we may decide not to push beyond the barrier.  Other times, we do.  Similar to the question above, knowing the motivation to push through that barrier is key.  It might be finding the courage to support a family member or friend.  Or, it could be about finding the courage to come alongside a classmate going through a difficult situation.  Another motivator may be a cause or belief in something.  For example, feeling strongly about pollution or recycling may give someone courage to create awareness or action to help the environment.  Have a conversation with your student to help identify what triggers create opportunities to motivate a student to take action.

3. Who can you ask for help?  Having courage doesn’t mean you have to live life alone or take on work by yourself.  Even when you are struggling and pushing through that invisible barrier, you may need help from others.  Work with your student to help identify people who they can go to when they need help.  Affirm the notion that getting help is not a sign of weakness as we are truly “stronger together”.

We realize that building and showing courage is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight.  I am excited for our staff to invest time this month to talk overtly about strategies and help students to self-reflect and identify their path.  I encourage you to talk with your student to learn about their thoughts and feelings about courage as well as share your personal journey to help as a guide.